"Don't Look for a Mistress"
Professor Lang Xianping has been very active on short video platforms recently. He says he has no friends, doesn't keep in touch with his siblings, and even finds his son unreliable, which has caused him a lot of trouble.
He mentioned that once he has money, he shouldn't help relatives or friends. He helped his elder brother buy a house and a car, but in the end, it backfired on him. He also made friends with his enemies who disclosed his undisclosed business secrets, etc. Professor Lang explained that the essence of it all is jealousy inherent in human nature.
This part may sound somewhat reasonable. However, he later talked about how his son also let him down, making him invest 20 million in a fund, which his son ended up spending, saying, "It's better that I let you down than someone else."
I found it quite shocking. If even his son, the closest family member, attacks him, then wealth is merely a shackle.
After searching a bit, I realized, "Everything in the world has a cause and effect."
Professor Lang met his first wife when they were both struggling. They made their way to the United States, where his wife worked very hard. Later, when the professor returned to Hong Kong to teach, he told his wife and son not to follow him, promising to return soon.
Thus, the professor enjoyed a smooth journey, never looking back, and even got married again in Hong Kong (hiding the truth from his original wife and concealing his marital history from his current partner). His son felt abandoned by his father and struggled with his mother at the bottom of society, getting tattoos, fighting, and mingling with the underprivileged. He was even punished by the school for campus violence. Professor Lang advised his son over the phone that "being unsuccessful is the saddest thing," but he was "too busy" to care too much.
While Professor Lang was pursuing "love," he gained a wealth of experience:
In 1997, Professor Lang took advantage of a legal loophole in Hong Kong (where marital status was not scrutinized, and registration could be done with just a public notice) to conceal his marriage and registered his marriage with Ms. Zhang in Hong Kong. This "marriage" was only discovered and terminated by Huang Qiping in 2007.
In 2003, Professor Lang met Miao Jieqing (a former flight attendant) at Cheung Kong Graduate School of Business. During their cohabitation, he bought her two properties in Shanghai's Jing'an and Songjiang districts, along with luxury goods. They later broke up due to conflicts, and Miao retained ownership of the properties.
In 2011, the two rekindled their romance, and Professor Lang gifted Miao Jieqing two high-priced properties and luxury cars again. Due to foreign purchase restrictions, the assets were temporarily registered under Miao's name. In 2014, Miao Jieqing was exposed for having another relationship, leading to a breakup.
Professor Lang sued to reclaim the properties, but Miao provided recorded evidence of their relationship, proving that the gifts were voluntary. The court ruled in favor of Miao. Subsequently, Miao also got involved with Professor Lang's son, claiming he had not delivered antiques worth 9 million.
However, in the end, due to the original wife's intervention regarding marital property, Miao Jieqing countersued Professor Lang and related companies for "unjust enrichment." The court ultimately determined that Xinyuan Company had not actually received the loan, and Lang was required to return 9 million plus interest to Miao, but the actual losses and gains for both parties essentially canceled each other out.
Now, the original wife is still in the United States, and the son is starting his own business by mortgaging properties, achieving success. However, Professor Lang claims that nowadays, he can't even find someone to enjoy a hot pot with, having to settle for the driver, as he has no one he can trust.
I had met him once in Hong Kong, and only recently learned about these past events, which made me feel quite emotional. I couldn't help but think of some principles, which could be summarized with the title "Don't Look for a Mistress," but actually encompass more content, including the following—perhaps they also hold reference value for finding romantic partners:
- Kindness
The professor met his first wife when they were both struggling, while he enjoyed success. If he were a kind person, he wouldn't have acted that way. One definition of "kindness" is treating others well, and when it comes to family, it can evoke even more terms, such as responsibility, the responsibilities of a husband and father, etc.
Therefore, I believe that when dating or looking for a marriage partner, common sense, wealth, and appearance are not as important as this point. Kindness may seem like the most useless quality, especially in the cryptocurrency financial sector, a place overflowing with dopamine, where discussing kindness appears naive, ridiculous, and almost foolish. However, I still believe that whether one has a lot of money or not, material wealth is secondary; what truly matters for long-term relationships is character.
Kindness is also crucial when making friends. For instance, if you see someone filled with jealousy or frequently attacking others maliciously, they may not be suitable as a friend. A kind person will not be jealous and will bless everyone; they won't go around cursing others, etc.
During blind dates, if a girl sees a guy barking orders at waitstaff and acting arrogantly, she should be cautious. Such unkindness reflects character issues.
Kindness, which seems like the most useless quality, can actually manifest in many ways.
- Selection
People can only select; they cannot be changed.
The seven deadly sins: pride, envy, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony, lust—everyone has them; it’s just a matter of who controls them better.
Some people manage to control most or some of these sins quite well, even improving over time, while others may have all of them, even severely. When combined with the underlying kindness mentioned above, we can compare the seven deadly sins:
Pride: Being arrogant towards others is not kindness, but being confident and self-assured is fine.
Envy: Being envious or cursing others is not kindness, but one can admire and use them as a benchmark for improvement.
Wrath: Getting angry at others' mistakes or foolishness, hurting both others and oneself, is not kindness; one should control their temper, and if necessary, remove themselves from such situations.
Sloth: Laziness is a form of "unkindness" in life; be the kind of person who gets up when awake or when the alarm rings.
Greed: A lifelong practice, guided by kindness; when selling something others desire, sell a little less; in business, if you can earn 10, take only 8.
Gluttony: Controlling one's diet is an act of kindness towards the body.
Lust: This point can relate to the title; lust may be evolutionary, especially in men. The more capable a person is, the stronger the desire to spread their genes. Some choose to have many children, some seek multiple partners, and some look for mistresses. The methods vary, but the principle should remain: do not harm others; otherwise, self-restraint is necessary.
Speaking of which, I reflected on my best friends, many of whom are tough individuals. I suddenly realized that one of my benefactors controls all seven deadly sins very well, which explains his high achievements.
Let’s continue to cultivate ourselves. The most interesting part of life is actually about constantly becoming stronger. This strength, in my opinion, is not only about improving investment skills and knowledge but also about enhancing one's character.
Be a tough person and ask yourself every day, "Am I more satisfied with myself today?"
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